Everything has to have a starting point. Races, jobs, families, and lives. I feel like I have just been going with the flow until now. Before I get into the poor me, my life is going nowhere story, lets start with why I'm here.
I am here because I have time and time again tried to hold myself accountable for various things (getting a job, keeping a job, quitting this, stopping that) and time and time again I have failed. I don't have the willpower to stick to my word when I'm the only one watching. I decided to start this blog so that I can have hopes that someone else will read this and possibly relate to my journey and give me some accountability.
I am 20 (will be 21 in June) and I am at a constant war with my mind about how I should feel for my current and past "accomplishments", if you will. I moved out of my parent's house when I was 16. I spent years 16-18 basically partying, staying out all night, going on spur-of-the-moment road trips, smoking, drinking, and anything else that I shouldn't have. Then years 18-19 I finally got a clue. Stopped hanging out with a lot of the "friends" that had dragged me down such a long and stupid road and started spending more time with the true friends. I still wasn't doing much with my life. Year 19 I had started school to become a Medical Assistant and I was stoked!!! School was a blast and I loved learning new things and the students and teacher was AWESOME!!! Shortly after school started, I found another job. Anyone who knows me knows that my previous track record with jobs has been crappy to say the least. So I finally found this job, and it turned out to be an amazing company. Currently to date I will have worked for this company 1 year in July. During the time of going to school and working this new job I had been jumping from one friends house to another and eventually moved BACK in with mom... OY VEY! Oh well, the rent was free, and it was a place to sleep. Well my mom put her foot down with me (like she should have done a long time ago) and said I had 30 days to move out.... WOAH! that was a smack in the face, I was almost done with school and now I had to worry about finding my own place. So I finally talked her into letting me finish out college and then I would move. So I finished my externship from school in December 2011 and then mom gave me until end of January to find a place. So the hunt was on.
Well I could go on and on, but long story short I found an apartment and moved in February 7th. I am ALL ON MY OWN. Its a new feeling, and I haven't figured out how I feel about it yet. I love it sometimes, and other times I absolutely hate the thought of going home to an empty apartment. :( but anyways... I feel like at the age of 20, having a job, a car, an apartment, and a college degree are pretty amazing... but then I have other days where I feel like my life is going nowhere.
I recently ran across a blogger (who I will keep anon for privacy) who has really inspired me... so, I'm trying to change ME. This is currently day #3 that I have not smoked a cigarette. I have tried sooooooo many times to quit smoking and it never worked, but this time I have a good feeling because I am actually doing it because I want to... and I'm doing it for me. I am going to make it through this whole week and then I am going to start a little workout routine. I haven't figured out said routine yet but I do know it will hopefully include walking a lap around the lake by my work on my lunch break and playing Just Dance 3 or Zumba for the xbox360.
So in hopes for accountability and for the sake of changing what i don't like about me and my life.... here goes.... THIS IS MY STARTING POINT!!!
